Attention, all operators! David Kemper is actively seeking to sell his soul (or a small percentage thereof) to the Madison Avenue-Hollywood Gehenna. If you're a pointy-tailed emissary of such slime-encrusted, corporate netherworlds, and think any of the sounds in these samplers would be perfect accompaniment to your new fifteen-second spot for nonstick cooking spray or your sweeping, eight-part biopic on the life and times of Angelina Jolie, you can spear your Faustian contract with your trident and chuck it in the direction of this email address: djk@brahms3rdracket.com

All claims on my soulfulness will be given the full consideration of the Executive Board.

• Hollywood Schvingin' (The "Whore Me" Sampler, Volume I)
  Total time: 1:33
   
• Mad Ave. Shuffle  (The "Whore Me" Sampler, Volume II)
  Total time: 1:34

All music © David J. Kemper, ASCAP